First the good news, Sealab 2021 is cancelled! Sealab has become a tired old piece of shit ever since Harry Goz died and Erik Estrada left. It really started going down hill once they stopped using the old Hanna-Barbara animation and started to redraw everything. The result was that characters looked different, as did the show itself.

But this is not a review of Sealab, it is a review of Adult Swim's own "Short-sized high-pitched white-skinned brother" Chris Ward (aka MC Chris). MC Chris is, of course, the voice of Sealab's Hesh and Aqua Teen Hunger Force's MC Pee Pants/Sir Loin/Little Brittle, which Chris reports is just a variation on the hyperkinetic Chris Tucker and his delivery style.

MC Chris and his DJ John Fewell came to Spartanburg, SC's own Ground Zero on April 01, 2005. They played the packed back room where yours truly fought tooth and nail to get beer from the apparently learning-disabled bartenders (who do not understand either numbers or spoken language and so give you whatever alcoholic beverage they happen to reach for first and all you can do is hope that they give you some approximation of what you want). Meanwhile, an open door allowed for the stink of stagnant puddles out back to waft into the building. The malodor washed over the already stinking mass inside the venue and UFR correspondent LimpDickCheney was overheard saying, "The crowd smells like unwashed asshole."

"Hoochie mommas" tried to dance on stage, but were quickly dispensed with courtesy of DJ John, who wore tight high waters and "played" a white Apple laptop. MC Chris, meanwhile, sported a wicked-awesome Six Flags shirt and ranted about the Pope and Johnnie Cochran (both of whom he wished to hell). He then proclaimed his own atheism, which is remarkable - surely a nasally white boy rapper who is inexplicably pseudo-famous must embrace the existence of some sort of God? There must be something or someone behind his success, even if it is just the legions of self-referencial and obsessive Star Wars and comic book fans.

MC Chris is, of course, less a rapper than a stand-up comedian. Between songs he engaged in humorous banter with the audience. Mr. Plaid, who was also in attendance, reports that his favorite paraphrased between-song banter was, "Please don't tell the black rappers what I'm doing. I hope I never get signed to a big label. The moment I get signed I'm picking out my cemetery plot."

I suspect that MC Chris is as surprised as anyone at his success and he seems truly grateful to the fans that came out to support him. That said, the only song I really remember him playing was "The Tussin." I also have vague memories of songs about robot dogs and a great number of references to sexual acts such as "stabbing her with my dick."

All in all it was a good show, and certainly an oddity for this butthole little town. A fantastic diversion for an otherwise boring Friday night in an otherwise boring little burg called Spartan.

Rating: 3.5 Don Cheadle heads